Zayd’s timing



This is Zayd’s first drawing. It might seems like nothing to most people, but to me, this simple drawing contained in it many important mothering lessons.

1. Kids will learn things in their own time.

I have to admit, sometimes I can be quite the anxious mother. Especially when I see other kids are already doing something that Zayd was still unable to do. I will ‘teach’ him how to do those things. And it NEVER WORKED!. No amount of cajoling, sweet-talking, threatening (!) will make him do it. In this particular case – to hold a pencil properly and write/draw/anything. Since I am a bit artsy and always either writing or drawing things – I would always asked Zayd to do the same. And he never ever want to do it. He prefer to roll his car up and down..well, anything. His cars are his universe. After a while I resigned to the fact that maybe he’s just not into pencils. Fine, it’s ok. I will work with what I have. *sob sob

But recently, he started picking up the pencil on his own and starting to draw too! With no inputs or instructions from me whatsoever! He spend a lot of time with his older cousins now and they were always drawing things. So he observed them and started doing the same.

Now he really enjoys drawing/doodling while telling me stories about what he draws/doodles.

2. Pencils open up a whole new means of expression for him.

Zayd has always been quite the verbal kid. He loves talking and telling stories. Now that he learnt how to hold the pencil and use it to draw – a whole new world seems to be opening up to him. And it was really wonderful watching his expression as he managed to translate his ideas into images. I saw the light in his eyes the first time he draw trees (in the picture above the lines and squiggly black thing eheh) and he went “mummy..trees”. Ah that expression. I still can’t forget those precious expression. It’s like suddenly he found a superpower or something. It’s truly amazing masha Allah.

(I thought I have more lessons but maybe just these 2 ehehe).

But these are really important lessons for me! It made me realise that I just need to keep trusting him and his ability. I need to trust the timing. I need to know that as long as I keep providing the right environment – he will learn these things in his own time. But the RIGHT environment is the key here.

Also, I need to keep encouraging him to explore all means of expressions. It seems that there’s  a whole world inside that little head that is yet to emerge.

Alhamdulillah, all praise to Allah for giving human ability to express ourselves. What a wonderful gift it is. Alhamdulillah.

My Quran-reading 3 year old boy



ok not really reading – but more mimick-ing me!

I just have to capture the moment and shared my feeling of this. After Maghrib prayer a few days ago, which he sometimes joined, (also he didn’t know how to pray and I didn’t teach him at all – he just loves to join together when me or his dad started praying), he picked up 2 Qurans from the shelf, one mine and one small shiny gold one (that he found in his ayahtok’s house and claimed as his own) – and he started ‘reading’ it. He mimicked the Arabic sound I make when I am reading my Quran and he continued to do that until I finished reading my Quran and he put both of the Quran back on it’s place.

From him I really learn the meaning that a child will not do ‘what you told them to do’, but will do ‘what you do’. In this age of parenting, where babies classes are the norm and your child is expected to know their ABC’s as soon as they can speak – I chose a different route. I chose to let my child be a child. I want him to play as much as he can, be with his families as much as possible, and just be happy.

The first 7 years of a child’s life is very precious. The sunnah told us that this is the time where we are supposed to love and play with them the most. So that they will form a strong bond with the parent and the rest of the family members. And from my observation of Zayd’s growth, he really does not need any ‘formal’ or ‘structured’ lesson plan for him to learn. He learns and absorbs everything around him like a sponge. What I did is to take care of his environment more, than to dictate what he needs to learn. By making sure that he is not exposed to too much media (tv, video, etc), and to allow him with lots of creative playing and exploring, bringing him to good places and gatherings (mosques, gathering of knowledge), I hope he will absorb his surrounding and learn from these subconsciously.

And the rest of it, I leave it to Allah to always guide him, protects him, and bless him always. My dear, dear son🙂

Langkawi trip


Our 2016 Langkawi Trip was the first Langkawi trip for both mummy and Zayd (yes, can you believe it – a 35 year-old Malaysian who has never been to Langkawi?). And his first time on an airplane!

He is already in this stage where he can anticipate the future – so he has been really excited about this trip for weeks!


Mesmerised by the view!


Look at that excited face! I am glad we waited until he’s 3 for this trip because he is now able to understand and appreciate what’s going on. He behaved really well all throughout the flight. Being really curious and excited, asking lots of questions.


Clinging to mummy when his ears felt a bit funny due to the cabin pressure.


One with daddy! (who’s better equipped to answer questions about planes and plane engines)


Zayd really enjoyed 3D Museums at Oriental Village, much to my surprise. He really hated taking pictures but somehow he was really excited and cooperative here. Maybe something about the huge drawing and space inspires his imagination!


Look at that cheeky face! He’s having a really good time just playing around the painting and acting out different scenarios.


A boy lost in space?


At the highest peak of Machinchang mountain. The sky cab trip was really fun (for him) a bit scary (for mummy). He was not scared of height at all! And being really excited when the cable car shook and swayed from left to right while mummy felt like my heart would jump out!


Enjoying beach at Pantai Cenang (and back to his I-don’t-want-to-look-at-camera face).


Enjoying his breakfast like a king!

This trip is a much needed one for our family. We had quite an exhausting few months with moving out and moving in, and mummy’s PhD student routine, and the raya season!. It was good to just be able to get away and have a good relaxing time with family.

Langkawi is so beautiful (duhh right). I really love the mountains, the greenery and of course the sea. We didn’t manage to do any nature activity this time around. More of the touristy stuff and fun stuff for Zayd. We also didn’t get to do some of the things we wanted to do because of the weather. But it’s ok. For we are going back for sure!😀


Listen. Really listen Mummy! (reminder to self on the day I felt like the worst mom in the world *criessss*)


This morning I was a monster mummy for sure! I screamed bloody murder and was very impatient with Zayd. And the sweet boy that he is always ready to forgive me when I said sorry. I spent some time after that to reflect one what was happening and why I was unleashing this really ugly part of myself on him and this is what I learnt.

I was changing the sheets and was very excited about it (because I am a clean freak and loves all things neat and tidy), when Zayd popped his head out from the bathroom (he was having his morning shower) saw me changing the sheets and scream “I don’t want fresh sheet day!”. At first I ignored him. But he continued his whining and nagging and it got the best of me.

I snapped and get really angry at him. I forced him to quickly brush his teeth and impatiently made him finish his showers – basically being a top grumpy mother! And he cried of course, probably not understanding why I am angry at him just because of him expressing his dislike for fresh sheet day.

Ok, let’s backtrack. He, like me and his dad – likes things clean too. He used to love ‘fresh sheet’ day and loves helping me and his dad doing the changing of the sheets. So, I don’t understand why he was behaving like he was today.

But, one thing I realised (after introspection), is that I am actually angry at the assumption I arrived at because of his whining. When he complained I don’t like ‘fresh sheet’ day – what I heard was that ‘I don’t like what mummy is doing. I don’t appreciate mummy wanting to clean stuff for me.”. It’s stupid I know. But I took his simple complain and turned it into a melodrama in my head, spurred by my own personal issue.

After I calmed down, I called him back gently to me and asked him again why he didn’t like the ‘fresh sheet day’. He said because he liked the sheet he had. He doesn’t like the new sheet. He doesn’t want me to change the things that he like.

I realised that as he is growing up, his preference and personality is becoming firmer and stronger. He had definite ideas of what he likes and what he didn’t like. Of course, sometimes it will go against common hygiene practise like changing the sheets – but 3 years old don’t understand that yet. So, it’s my job as mom to get out of my head and don’t let my own personal issue interfere with my mothering.

What I need to do was to calm myself down. Be present. And listen, really listen to what he was expressing. He didn’t do that just to annoy me. He had real legit reason (in his 3 years old head) – and it is my job to get to the bottom of it.

I felt really bad today and I still do even as I am writing this.😦

Ya Allah, please help me in  controlling my anger. Please release me from the burden of old emotional issues. Please help me to always listen and be present with my child. Please forgive my terrible mothering today and other days too – and guide me to always be better mother, better daughter, better wife, better Muslim every day in every way ameen.

Hari Raya 2016



Our theme is purple this year. You originally wanted blue, but we could not find a suitable blue ‘baju melayu’ so for the first Raya we chose purple and we got blue for your casual Raya wear on the 2nd day.

You are starting to get the idea of what a ‘Hari Raya’ is. You looked forward for the ‘ziarah’ and are so excited to receive many many raya packets. You still do not know what is in the Raya packet and I am just so happy for that😀

Your favourite Raya delicacies is the ‘ketupat palas’ (the triangle ketupat), and ‘london almond’ biscuit. Well, you basically eat everything but those 2 seems to be your favourite this year.

You had your first playing ‘bunga api’ experience at your Ayahtok’s house. You don’t seem to be too excited about it. Hmmm. Maybe because you are a cautious boy, or maybe simple the idea of a ‘bunga api’ does not appeal to you yet.

Alhamdulillah for a wonderful Raya celebration and may Allah bless us with many many more Raya celebration together, in health and Imaan. Ameen.

“Allah gives me superpower!”


Zayd is in this phase of wanting to be superheroes and having superpowers. He was not really exposed to the Superman/Batman/Spiderman yet because hmm..well, his mummy is not really into Superheroes? ehehe So he picked this up from random Youtube videos, and cartoons that he watched with his cousins.

After shower one day (we normally have this mother-son conversation after shower because this is when he is not yet super-active running around here and there and a bit more focused and attentive to what I had to say), he was telling me about his superpower.

Zayd: Mummy, I have superpower! I am super strong! I am super man!

Mummy: Who give you superpower?

Zayd: I don’t know..

Mummy: Allah gives you superpower! (and suddenly I was inspired by an idea to make this “Allah gives me superpower” a thing ehehe)

Zayd, do you know when you are fighting bad guy and you need superpower, all you need to do is raise your hand like this, like you are making dua and say  -“Allah gives me superpowerrrr!” (in a really exaggerated comic voice and gestures) And Allah will give you all the super power you want!

Zayd: Really? “Allah give me super powerrr!” “Allah gives me super powerrr!” (in cute exaggerated comic gesture, repeat 100 times ehehe)

After that conversation, sometimes when he was in his imaginary fighting bad-guy mode he will go “Allah gives me superpowerrrr”. And I will always smile.

My dear boy, may you grow up knowing that all the super power you need in life comes only from Allah. And all you ever need to do is call out to Him in your dua and Allah will always always listen and gives you super power🙂


Storytelling 3 year old


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Zayd loves telling stories now!

Whenever I put him to sleep, he normally loves to hear me tell stories. What he will do is he will pick a character – that usually involves some sort of a vehicle and an animal.

Like this:

lorry, car, elephant, and cat

frog, towtruck, and monster truck

and sometimes

lorry, car, fire engine, helicopter, truck

and sometimes the character gets so long and complicated that it was impossible to fit them all in one story, so I leave them out. The funny thing is he always remember and will ask – ‘mana lorry?’, ”mana truck?’ahaha.

Anyway, I guess he picked up my style of story telling and the other day he asked me ‘Mummy do you want to  hear my story?’

So I said ok..this was new..

Then he started telling me stories about how he went to ‘work’ (something he picks up from his father) and heard a sound (insert monkey sound). What is it mummy? it..a monkey? (mummy replied)

YES, a monkey. So Zayd bring the monkey home..the monkey Zayd cooked for the monkey and give him food. nyum nyum nyum.

Suddenly.. (he even used ‘suddenly’ a word that I admit overly-used in my storied to him ehehe)

And he kept telling the story for a good few minutes by adding this and that into the storyline. And I was really amazed!

Somehow just by listening to my stories night after night he learnt how to tell stories by himself. He picked up the style, the storyline, the words I used..Masha Allah. How amazing is the ability that Allah give to us.

Zayd’s dad also loves to tell him stories. And we took turns to tell him stories and read aloud to him since he was a baby. Alhamdulillah for the ability to see him grow from being the one we tell the story to to the one who’s telling the stories now!🙂