You homebirthed your child?
I received myriad of responses when people knew that I actually gave birth to my firstborn at home some 2 months ago. I was surprised that I received mostly positive, if not, neutral responses. Either I have very open-minded, well-informed family and friends about natural and gentle birthing – or I am blessed with very polite people around me 😉
But as more and more people are aware of natural birthing/gentle birthing/water birthing/home birthing (thanks to Kate Middleton’s 11-hour no-pain-relief birth) – it has now regarded as a ‘trend’ or an ‘in’ thing to do.
This is so NOT why I chose to ‘homebirth’. (in actuality, I did not choose to homebirth – the baby decided to be born at home, but more on this on the birth story, when I managed to finish writing it that is :P)
There are many reasons why mothers chose to go for natural birth, either in the hospital or at home. The misconception is that these mothers ‘purposely’ birth at home because they are uninformed of the ‘danger’ that is ‘birthing’. That ‘homebirthing mothers’ are reckless, following trend, (insert all other negative judgements).
I can’t speak for other mothers, but for me – the location – at home, hospital, under the stairs, on the bus – are irrelevant. All I really wanted is a natural birth. But to achieve a true natural birth in a hospital setting is quite challenging – not impossible as many mothers had done it.
Why do you need to have natural birth? Why can’t you just do it like everybody else – the normal conventional hospital way?
The answer is – because I can’t.
I am among a few mothers who for decades has been ignored, abused, bullied by the medical establishment that regarded all women are the same homogenous product.
We are not.
The medicalised birthing system work wonders for mothers who are sick, who need emergency help, who are by their consent and understanding wanted to be assisted to deliver their baby, and who are not as sensitive to external intervention.
I am not one of those women. First and foremost, I have a very sensitive disposition. For some reason, my body reacted very strongly to most ‘modern medicine’ (ie. drugs). I am also extremely affected by the sterile and hostile nature of the hospital with its sharp scissors, and sharp needles, and beeping wheezing machines, and glaring white lights. In conclusion, my body will be all tense and close up whenever I am in the hospital. But I do not have a choice. If I go and deliver in the hospital, I will be subjected to all these. And how is that fair for me and my baby?
The problem with modern medicalised birthing system is that they do not recognise the importance of mothers’ emotional well-being during birthing and its impact on the birthing process. For sensitive mothers like me – it is of the utmost importance.
‘No need to be so sensitive-lah, as long as baby is safe and sound’ – they said. But look at it this way, the baby is coming from the mother. If the mother is not safe (or feeling unsafe) – it is harder for her to birth the baby safely. And one cannot simply ‘be insensitive’. We are born with sensitive temperament. It’s not something we can switch on and off.
Sadly, there are no room for women like us in the current system. I knew when I got pregnant, that I had to do it a bit differently than most people. But I am finally ok with that. I am finally ok with being different, and against the norm – because I only want the best for my baby.
I am grateful to Almighty Allah, for guiding me towards the right group – The Gentle Birthing Group, the right obgyn who supported and understood my need for natural birth, the right hospital where I did my monthly check-up, the right time and place to birth my baby – safe and soundly, all under the will of Him.
– to be continued 🙂