A few months after I gave birth, and continuing up until now – the social media (my circle) has been bombarded by all manners of controversies surrounding home-birth issues. It was really tough seeing people accusing you of all sorts of negative things without even knowing you, or the reason why you do things. (I wrote at length about my own home-birth experience in this blog).
For myself, I was not dead-set for home-birth although I was leaning towards it. It helped that I had a supportive obgyn so I was ok with either hospital or home-birth. I had to really work on my control issues and alhamdulillah towards the end of the pregnancy I managed to let go of most of my issues and surrender. I made lots and lots of dua that Allah will gave the best for me and my baby, regardless of where I might gave birth. I went to the hospital on my estimated due date, thinking I might gave birth there – but it was written that I was to give birth at home.
A few months later, new studies keep coming up showing the importance of ‘seeding baby’s microbiome’ and ‘human microbiome’ became the hot-topic of discussion. These are a few links for reference:
While I was preparing for my birth, I had no idea what all these means. And to be honest, I am still struggling to understand the whole subject properly – it being a new thing, coupled with me not having sufficient science background. But I am grateful to Allah that this knowledge is revealed in my lifetime so I get to learn and record it here. I am also grateful because now Zayd will know that while his birth might be surrounded in controversy, but there is always ‘khayr’ (goodness) in everything that Allah decrees.
I used to be quite active in the gentle-birth/natural-birth movement in the early months after Zayd was born, but I have been slowly but surely distancing myself from all the controversies because I realised it was not good for my mothering. I used to get really caught up with the issue and became really sad and angry. So, I decided the best thing for me to do for now is to lay low and just be with my baby. Alhamdulillah, it was a good decision as my mind became clearer, and my heart became lighter too.
I learnt that you cannot change people’s mind if they themselves are unwilling to open their mind. Like the saying, ‘you can bring the horse to the water, but you cannot make it drink it’. I also learnt that there are things in life that will be revealed in due time. Human beings are so limited in our understanding of everything. Every piece of knowledge that we have came from Allah and only Allah will reveal them to whom He wants. I also learnt that while most people have knowledge, only a handful of people were gifted with wisdom – and it is ok. It is just the way it is.
As for me, I am going to continue doing the only thing that I do know that works, and works well everytime – that is to continue making dua to Allah to always guide me to what is best for me and my family, here and Hereafter. I also pray that Allah will strengthen my faith in Him and His decision eventhough it was the difficult and unpopular decision at the time.