Now Zayd is able to express more of his feelings. Whether he is scared or upset or angry. And usually he will get scared during the rain when there’s thunder.
So, our conversation during that normally goes like this:
Zayd: Mummy Zayd takut. Ada thunder. (run and hides in my clothes)
Mummy: Zayd takut yea. It’s ok to be scared, sometimes kalau ada thunder kuat sangat mummy pun takut. Tapi kita boleh dua. Allah ada. Allah jaga kita.
Zayd: Tapi Zayd takuuuttt.
Mummy: Takpe, Allah ada.
I didn’t realise how many times I said that until one day I realised he said it to himself. It was a raining in his grandparent’s house and he was in the room and he heard the thunder. Automatically he said to himself -“takpe, Allah ada..”
That was a really wonderful mothering moment to me. I really hope he will be able to internalise it and really hold on to this words. I really do belief that the best gift any parent could give to their child is this – the ability to connect with Allah anytime, anyday, in any situation.
One of the early thing that made me realised this is a very sad video about a Palestinian child stuck under the rubble after an attack. In the video, instead of crying fer her/his mummy, the child called ‘Allah..Allah..’. And his/her mother is nowhere in sight. It made me ask the question – what did this child’s mother/caretaker did to make this child so connected to Allah, that in this time of grave suffering he/she only calls to Allah?
Then it made me realised, I could be gone any second. One day I could be his mother, and the next I could be called to my Creator. And if I made me, the source of his comfort, his only place that he go to when he is scared – I would be doing a great disservice to him when I am no longer around.
So, I hope by my instilling in him everyday, by words and by action – he will understand that truly, the only source of protection, comfort, love, safety – can only come from Allah.
Mummy, daddy, and everybody else in this world will be gone one day. But Allah, will always be there for you. You only need to call him and He will answer.
Sebab, Allah Ada. Allah sentiasa Ada.