Category Archives: Joy of SAHM

You are the proof



20150924_114116“You are the proof that our dua is always answered”

It was normal ordinary stay-at-home-mum morning. I was washing the dishes in the sink when my boy came and hug my legs from behind. “Mummmmmyyy” he purred as always before going back to whatever he was doing in the living room.

And at that moment, a realisation hit me. I have visualised this scene years ago. I have prayed and prayed and prayed for the exact moment years before Zayd came into my life.

My first pregnancy was in 2010. It ended in a miscarriage at the 8th week gestation. It was a really anticipated pregnancy and the lost was devastating to say the least. I spent the whole 2011 either crying or praying or both.

But one memory became clear to me on the morning when I did my dishes. Sometime in 2011, I visualised that I had a child, a boy in fact, and he came running to me while I was in the kitchen. And alhamdulillah, only by the Will of Allah – in 2016, the vision that I saw 5 years ago came to reality.

Zayd, my darling – you are the proof that dua is always answered. Sooner or later, in forms that we understand or we didn’t understand – our dua is always answered because that is the promise of Allah. (2:186).

Alhamdulillah, every time I look at you and I kiss your cheek, I am reminded that our dua is always answered. 🙂


Cooking for my boy.


I am on a roller coaster of emotion these days. On Monday I was down in a pit of dark emotional well because I burnt a perfectly good bone broth. Don’t ask. But on Tuesday, my heart sings a thousand beautiful songs because I made a perfectly wonderful traditional ‘kueh’ that my boy loves so much. Hoorraayy!!

The life of a Stay-at-Home-Mums was never a dull one. Wait no, usually it’s pretty dull except when you were faced with these mini dramas you create out of your own kitchen.

This path is certainly not the one I plan. In fact, I don’t know how many SAHM out there actually plan to be a SAHM when they grow up. We were taught that we need to be teachers, doctors, engineers. Staying at home to raise your kids? What is that? There’s no figure like that to colour or spell on your worksheet. Our modern educational system certainly do not recognised ‘child-rearing’ as a ‘career’ path.

So most of of us, we stumbled into the path through life’s wonderful intricacies.

And now, at this point in my life, I am a SAHM. Well, I normally refer to myself as WAHM (Work-at-Home-Mum) because I also write. And writing is something I have always been working on since..well, forever.

But what I want to talk about here is the joy I felt when my boy ate the food that I lovingly cooked.

To be honest, I hate cooking. There are days that I felt just ‘arghhh can’t I just order Foodpanda todayyyy!!’. Before Zayd, my husband did most of the cooking at home. But after the birth of Zayd, and since I officially became a SAHM – I am the one who did most of the cooking. So that might explained a little bit about the burnt bone broth.

But I love ‘having cooked’. I love looking at my boy eating my home-cooked food.

I am blessed with a boy that has a very healthy appetite. He always loved food, even when he was a baby. So it really motivated me to cook and learn to be a better cook so that I can feed him better food. And this process is immensely rewarding!

The feeling you get when you saw your child gobbled up whatever you put in his plate is priceless. Knowing that he is not just consuming what you cook, but he is also absorbing all your love and dua from you. And when he’s done he goes ‘nak tambah’, pointing with his chubby fingers to the direction of the kitchen. It just melts my heart into a puddle of love and gratitude!

So my ‘Joy of SAHM’ today is cooking 🙂